If I had to choose a religious affiliation, it would be that of being a Buddhist. I would only do so reluctantly. Not because I have any problem with the label per se, or don’t think it’s the most appropriate, but this sort of identifying with a category is a messy and ambiguous endeavor, meaning different things to different people. What is it that makes a person a Buddhist or Christian or some other something or other? Is it about belief? Or emotional comfort, belonging to a community, performing rituals? Reading books? Praying? Maybe. Sometimes. All the above? According to whom?
I am much more comfortable just saying that I follow a Buddhist path. It doesn’t matter to me what that makes me because I didn’t know what I was before either. I do what I do and believe what I believe and I don’t need to know what it adds up to. That’s actually part of my path: I do things and trust the bigger picture to the bigger picture. You could even call it God. I don’t usually, but I could. My God responds according to what I am and what I do. My God knows the truth of who I am and my God doesn’t need proof of my allegiance or proof of my worthiness. My worthiness to be alive is proven by my being alive. That's the way I see it.
I find it difficult to adequately describe what I call a ‘path’, because it is much more than its components. It is not separate from who I am and the life I live. That’s why I am more comfortable calling it a path rather than a religion or belief. It includes what might be judged as attainments and shortcomings except that there really are no successes or failures. It is work in progress. If I needed to describe it someone, they would have to be willing to add up the pieces in order to get an idea of what it means to me.
I have been reading a book of interviews with elderly Benedictine monks and nuns. These are people that have been committed to a religious way of life for sixty, seventy, or more years. Reading their stories and hearing their thoughts, I can see and feel how they have been shaped by their faith and everyday activity; they radiate a love for the spiritual life and community and they themselves appear like jewels. They so embody their paths that they are living examples of what would otherwise be no more than lofty ideas. The transformation happens day-by-day, year-by-year, guided by their faith and the principles of their religion.
I don’t think one needs to be a monk or nun to engage so wholeheartedly, but I do think one needs to be willing to make intentional decisions, some of which might appear to be sacrificial at the time in order to nurture this lifestyle. I am not too confident that a spiritual or religious life can be squeezed in or added onto an already full dance card. And there’s no getting around the time element and the challenges we face. I guess we all have to ask ourselves where it is that we want to go with our lives and what it takes to make it happen. No one can do it for another although we can help or hinder each other profoundly. And there’s no neutral ground to retreat to. Even our passivity or avoidance has consequence.
be well and thank you
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