Play

            Play is important, worthy of being taken seriously, and anything taken seriously should be able to stand up to some play. By playful I don’t mean tinged with sarcasm. Sarcasm, even when intermingled with mirth and humor is too serious. Play is openhearted, light in weight, unhindered to come and go. Serious is thought and feeling bound in emotional need. It is fear made solid and crazy made sane.

            Play does not mean less than wholehearted or being unworthy of effort. We are supposed to nurture life but a closed fist is only the shadow of an open hand. An open heart-and-mind is free to respond to life. This is a good thing.

            Of all the functions of being human, how did humor and laughter come about? We are fortunate.

            Thank you

Edith Warton was quoted as saying:  “Longevity and creativity rest on four things: being unafraid of change, having an insatiable curiosity, being interested in big things, and being happy in small ways.”

The Want of Language: the desire to, the lack of, and the search for completeness

            Of late, when I hear myself about to use the word spiritual, I feel trapped. It would be bad enough if it was only that I found the word inadequate as was once the case, but it has taken on an odor of repulsiveness and danger. The actual dictionary meaning is characterized by that which is distinguished from the corporeal. It use to be more inclusive of some of what we now relegate to the intellect, which seems to have become a function of the brain. And amidst all the divisiveness of what we are, whatever we are, somehow spiritual has gotten to be better or nicer, more important or more refined. I feel under attack. I do not want to be a second-class citizen to being an ethereal energy lost in sacred rapture. Why not? Because that WANTING means I cannot be what I fully AM; a human, a man, 58 years old. I have good days and bad days. Death awaits me.

            What I do want is spiritual growth to be a guiding principle among others in my life. What I wish for is a word that is inclusive, one that doesn’t have negative connotations toward my body or daily activities. Is there some way to speak and think without getting tangled up in the inadequacy of language to convey multiple meanings simultaneously? I feel stuck in a two-dimensional world trying to describe a box. All I can do is draw one rectangle after another and none of them can stand alone, literally or figuratively.

            What I suspect is that I won’t find what I’m looking for except in dialogue. If you and I were to dialogue, we might begin to recreate language with an understanding of our limitations, we might be able to use that which has been a source of entrapment as a source of expression and growth. It could be as if we took all the little drawings of rectangles, each from a different point of view, put them on cards and flicked through them quickly. Have you ever done that? Hah, look, a box!

            That’s why we need each other. That’s why we need each other in order to be that larger being and greater understanding that we already are. It is one more reason why we shouldn’t waste our lives competing with each other. But I have journeyed a long way from where I started, writing about the word ‘spiritual,’ and it still sticks in my throat. Can you help me? Please?

be well and thank you

Religion, elders, and making choices:

            If I had to choose a religious affiliation, it would be that of being a Buddhist. I would only do so reluctantly. Not because I have any problem with the label per se, or don’t think it’s the most appropriate, but this sort of identifying with a category is a messy and ambiguous endeavor, meaning different things to different people. What is it that makes a person a Buddhist or Christian or some other something or other?  Is it about belief? Or emotional comfort, belonging to a community, performing rituals? Reading books? Praying?  Maybe. Sometimes. All the above? According to whom?

            I am much more comfortable just saying that I follow a Buddhist path. It doesn’t matter to me what that makes me because I didn’t know what I was before either. I do what I do and believe what I believe and I don’t need to know what it adds up to. That’s actually part of my path: I do things and trust the bigger picture to the bigger picture. You could even call it God. I don’t usually, but I could. My God responds according to what I am and what I do. My God knows the truth of who I am and my God doesn’t need proof of my allegiance or proof of my worthiness. My worthiness to be alive is proven by my being alive. That's the way I see it.

            I find it difficult to adequately describe what I call a ‘path’, because it is much more than its components. It is not separate from who I am and the life I live. That’s why I am more comfortable calling it a path rather than a religion or belief. It includes what might be judged as attainments and shortcomings except that there really are no successes or failures. It is work in progress. If I needed to describe it someone, they would have to be willing to add up the pieces in order to get an idea of what it means to me.

            I have been reading a book of interviews with elderly Benedictine monks and nuns. These are people that have been committed to a religious way of life for sixty, seventy, or more years. Reading their stories and hearing their thoughts, I can see and feel how they have been shaped by their faith and everyday activity; they radiate a love for the spiritual life and community and they themselves appear like jewels. They so embody their paths that they are living examples of what would otherwise be no more than lofty ideas. The transformation happens day-by-day, year-by-year, guided by their faith and the principles of their religion.

            I don’t think one needs to be a monk or nun to engage so wholeheartedly, but I do think one needs to be willing to make intentional decisions, some of which might appear to be sacrificial at the time in order to nurture this lifestyle. I am not too confident that a spiritual or religious life can be squeezed in or added onto an already full dance card. And there’s no getting around the time element and the challenges we face. I guess we all have to ask ourselves where it is that we want to go with our lives and what it takes to make it happen. No one can do it for another although we can help or hinder each other profoundly. And there’s no neutral ground to retreat to. Even our passivity or avoidance has consequence.

be well and thank you